Posted by: kathyhugs | August 22, 2008

Counting Down

We have had a fun, hard, fast summer. Our son, Sean, was away all summer working as a counselor at Camp Ligonier. He came home last Sunday and I just want to keep hugging him. It is so good to have him around. I have recuperated from my surgery and I feel better than I have in months. I am still anemic but my energy level is steadily climbing. My husband took me on a fantastic vacation this month. He had a business conference in Hawaii so we took a few extra days and enjoyed the beauty that God created there. It was such a special trip. I reconnected with three of my cousins who I haven’t seen for decades. Seeing Scott, Kelly and Tracy and meeting their families was the highlight of my trip. Family is so important and being able to reconnect with this side of my family was such a blessing.

The time away allowed me to relax and heal; allowed Rick and I to strengthened our relationship and allowed us to remember the gifts God has given to us.

Now we are back at home and taking every day one step at a time but with our feet firmly planted on God’ grace. We have had some meeting to prepare us for the trial which is less than a month away. I believe it will be postponed but I think that is just my way of preparing myself just in case it is postponed. September 5th is the next official meeting in front of the judge to decide if they everyone is ready to move forward. Since I have no control over this matter I lean on God for patience and peace and understanding.

The hardest part about waiting is wondering how we are going to react to seeing JC for the first time in person since he killed Tonia. We have had no contact at all with him and having to sit through all of the testimony is going to be so hard. There are so many emotions going through my head. I have had to forgive him over and over as this is the one area where so many people have challenged this decision. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting what someone has done or holding them accountable for their actions. What is does mean is letting go of the bitterness, the anger and instead extending mercy. I doubt myself and my ability to forgive on some days. But it is at those times that I lean on God and allow him to forgive through me. As I have been forgiven for my sins then I have to forgive others for their sins against me. Yes it is hard on my own but God gives us what we need when we need it! So as September 16th approaches I lean very hard on God for peace, strength, wisdom, understanding, patience and love. Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness”. 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”. So today I reflect on the beauty of God’s creation and how it is just a taste of what Heaven will be like; I thank God for the gifts in my life, and I remember that God is love and love wins in the end!

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