Posted by: kathyhugs | January 2, 2010

2010!

Happy New year! As 2010 starts I will admit that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious. I truly expected that our legal journey would be over instead we enter 2010 with the uncertainty if the future before us. Most of the time I am strong and I can deal with trusting God and waiting but then my very vulnerable human flaws appear. Right now I am feeling very anxious as we wait. The combination of the holidays and the not knowing what may happen this month have proven to be a tough combination. This Friday is the next pre-trial hearing but who know what will happen even before that. There have been several motions filed recently and the judge still has to answer some of them. Lynn filed a motion to have Chris Amato removed as one of the attorneys for JC. Lynn can ask him to be a witness to the fire that started on July 2, 2007 since he was present at the time. Since he may be a witness he can’t be one of the attorneys. There has also been motions to have the evidence reviewed yet again. JC has also been allowed to leave jail in under to visit a psychiatrist. What the defense has planned with that info is unknown as of now. The information that I see leads me to believe that the court date will be postponed again. Today, right now, I don’t know how much more I can take. Every time we get close to a trial date I begin to prepare myself mentally and emotionally. I have to prepare my heart for what we will hear and I have to barricade my emotions from the reactions of the other people around us. My prayers become very much like groaning from the Holy Spirit. God I have no words to describe the struggle going on but you understand my needs. Lift me up and surround me with your peace and calmness. Give me your grace as I move through each day waiting for the unknown. May your light penetrate my heart so I may know joy in the blessings you give to me each day. My soul is in torment, ease the pain as only you can. God use me to bring comfort to those around me as you comfort me. God give us your wisdom to accept the things we cannot change. My spirit is totally leaning on you. I am yours.

2010: What will it bring and how can God use me to reach out to others. I lay down my will and surrender to my God who cares about me and knows every breath and emotion that I am feeling.

Thank you for being on this journey with us. Your prayers and love help me to see Gods love and hope in action. May 2010 bring you joy and peace and hope in the knowledge of God’s love!

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