Posted by: kathyhugs | March 15, 2010

What now?

It has been 2 years, 8 months and 14 days since Tonia died. We have survived the immediate grief. We buried our daughter. Her headstone stands in a beautiful cemetery surrounded by a white picket fence and fields of corn. We have learned to communicate more deeply as husband and wife. We survived the legal journey that had to take place. Our faith in God has grown, strengthened and deepened during this crisis. We have forgiven our son-in-law. Our friends, both old and new, have bathed us in prayers. We have felt God’s comfort and strength. We have been blessed.

We not only survived but in many ways we have thrived. God has used this time to teach us and to begin the healing process. To begin the healing process because I believe that healing continues for the rest of our lives.

So now what happens? We are taking a deep breath and waiting to hear from God. I know that I want to help other families heal by growing closer to God and surrounding them in prayer. I also want to communicate with anyone who will listen, the importance of forgiveness vs. the poison of anger and hatred. I have seen how bitterness and anger creates horrible tensions and can split up relationships. I have felt the brunt of this anger and bitterness. It is ugly and it attempts to consume people. The only way I know how to overcome this is by allowing God to love me. Once I know God’s love than I can choose to love others. I can’t do this on my own. So once again I ask what happens next?

Our future is in God’s hands and I am okay with that. I am so grateful that I have a God who is a friend, a comforter, a healer and my Savior. God is in control of my today, tomorrow and especially my eternity. Thank you Father God.

Our legal journey is over but our healing continues. Our journey with God goes on. So I will continue to write about what I am learning and discovering. I will continue to talk about my faith, my God and our life journey. Until tomorrow may God bless you and continue to draw you closer. HUGS!

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