Posted by: kathyhugs | September 17, 2010

Rubber Bands

The last month and a half have been filled with so many emotions. I feel as if we have been on a roller coaster. Just when I start to feel as if I recognize my life, God shakes it up.  Even though it might not be perfect, it is at least recognizable. It is my life. But God decides that we need to be stretched, just like a rubber band. A rubber band laying in a drawer has a recognizable shape but until it is stretched out to use, it isn’t serving the purpose it was designed for! Well Rick, Sean and I are being stretched like rubber bands!

In summary:

we have been out to Chicago on a scouting trip for apartments for Sean for January when he starts Seminary.

He has started his last semester at Geneva.

Rick started interviewing for a new job. On top of that he wasn’t even looking for a new job! He went through an interview liked what he saw and went to his current company to let them know he had a job offer and that didn’t want to let him go so they started courting him. Then the new company refused to take no for an answer and they starting talking to him even more!! After a month and a half of prayers, asking for wise counsel and looking at the priorities in our lives; Rick has accepted a new position. For now we do not have to move so we have a chance to figure out how to deal with all of the changes. The amazing thing about this process has been to watch God’s hand change our perspective and my heart. 6 months ago I would not have considered potentially moving away from Pittsburgh. My job is here, our church is here and this is where Tonia is buried. No way I wanted to move. But….God stretches us in order to have us serve the purposes He has chosen for us. The idea of moving away from church is uncomfortable but time and time again as we have traveled God has given us glimpses of the rest of our extended family of believers. We have found churches where we have been warmly welcomed and that we have enjoyed. I need to remember that God’s children live all over the world and that God wants us to reach out to every person. So we are not moving right now but I am open to that idea. Stretching my mind to new possibilities.

Next the thought of not being near to Tonia’s grave was making me sad and guilty and even depressed. Sad because the cemetery has been an anchor to hold on to her, in a weird way, because I know that she is in Heaven. Her body is here but her spirit is soaring. Guilty because I wouldn’t be here to take care of new plants and flowers. Depressed because she isn’t here to share this new journey. Lots of emotions. Very slowly and quietly God has been telling me to let go of a place, a marker for Tonia’s life and death, and instead to remember his promise that we will be together again. Better, perfected, no more hurt, no more tears. Home together in Heaven. Deep breath. Okay, my heart is being stretched.

Next my job…. I love working with the kids. Seeing a child more comfortable during an uncomfortable day and getting a hug at the end of the visit makes my entire being smile! Over the last 5 months I have been very unhappy and uncomfortable with a situation at work. A situation that I tried to fix, but unfortunately it isn’t changing. I have been emotionally exhausted and very upset and angry at my inability to change what is going on. I have had many meetings trying to change the circumstances but nothing has worked. When Rick accepted his new job, it gave me a change to evaluate my life and priorities and what God wants from me. I attempted to have one more meeting in order to fix the problem at work but it became very evident that it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. So I resigned!! I have given them a long notice so they can replace me and I wanted time to find something else. I applied to two jobs last weekend and I have two interviews! I have an interview at Magee Women’s Hospital cancer center this morning and I have an interview on Monday at a UPMC Cancer Center in Moon/Beaver. Wow. God is stretching my focus and giving me a new direction to head.

Rubber bands…. God stretches us in order to have us become everything he has in mind for our life.

More later I have to get ready for the interview!

Update: October 12, 2010

I have a new job!. I finish at Children’s on October 28 and start my new position as a PET/CT nurse at the UPMC Cancer Centers in Moon and Beaver. I am very excited. This isn’t a position that I ever considered before but God opened up a door and I walked through. I will be with patients as they are getting their PET/ CT scans as part of their diagnostic process to discover if they have cancer. My prayer is that I can’t help them to navigate through this storm in their life as best I can. I will be with them and my job is to keep them calm as I help them to get ready to have this test and then to be with them during and after the procedure.

I new opportunity to meet and pray for so many people. One door closed and another door opened. God at work. Amen!

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Responses

  1. Hi Kathy! I miss you. FYI – my husband and I moved to Lancaster. It was hard for us to leave our church 😦 very difficult transition, but I’m sure if you were to move God has a very good reason and special plan for you and Rick. Love you 🙂

    • Kathy,
      I miss you too. Lancaster is so beautiful. I know that leaving a church family is hard but just imagine the new family members you will be meeting. How cool. Love you and I can’t wait to hear more.

  2. Kathy – you will be GREAT at that job with the Cancer Center. You will be such a blessing to those patients, as you are to me!


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