Posted by: kathyhugs | February 28, 2018

2018: The event that changed … nothing

On January 10, 2018 our son-in-law, JC, was released from prison.  I thought I was emotionally prepared for this event. Let me walk you through the previous 60 days before he was released. At day 60 we received the first of many phone calls notifying us of his pending release.  All of the the phone calls are from a computer. The call starts out the same. I have an important announcement regarding …. prisoner ID number …. This is to inform you that a potential change of status will be occurring within the next 60 days. The date of this status change has been scheduled for January 10, 2018.  This date may change depending upon circumstances and changes in custody.  Please input your pin number to acknowledge that you have received this information.

We also received the first official letter stating the same thing but also giving us phone numbers to call if we need any assistance.

Day 30 we get the same phone call.

Day 15 we get the same phone call.

Day 10 we get the phone call stating that he has been moved to a new prison facility to start processing out of the system.

Day 7 we get another phone call stating he has been moved again to another facility.

Then we wait! At this point I think that I am calm, cool and collected.  My biggest concern is the reaction of other people in our lives. Will they cause trouble for me? Will they say or do anything stupid that will cause us to have to one again deal with them.  My prayer becomes “please let this day fade away with no exciting events occurring”.

Rick takes the day off and we plan on keeping very busy helping friends move.  Our phones are put on do not disturb for the say.

We wake up the morning of January 10 and i want to cry, to scream and to run away. The waiting has built up into an emotional pit.  We spend some time praying and then we get to work helping our friends move.  Before I know it we are home after dinner and the day was just a normal non event day! Hallelujah!! We sit down to watch a silly show on tv and my phone rings….

“we are calling to inform you of a status change of….. Prisoner number has been released and will begin his 5 year post release parole protocol”.  Or words to that affect!

10 years, 6 months and 9 days after Tonia died, JC has been released from prison! It is finished! But is it really?

The legal stuff has been completed but our grief will never go away.  My obedience to write to JC in jail was finished but my heart will always carry a scar. So what truly happened that day?

God showed up! He gave me peace in the midst of emotional hurt. He gave me strength to carry on. He gave me a husband who walked side by side with me during one of the hardest trials we have ever had to endure.  He surrounded me with sisters who prayed for us and over us.

In a way, I was given freedom and hope. Freedom to look into the future without waiting for the other to shoe to drop. Freedom to choose to trust God, my husband and my friends when trust seemed a foreign concept. But the biggest gift has been Hope! Hope that tomorrow will be more beautiful because God is with me. Hope that eternity will be filled with love and joy, God and Tonia.  Hope that as I grow in my walk I can help others journey through their grief and pain.

So January 10, 2018 was only a date on a calendar and not the earthquake event that I feared.  It is time to move through my grief with a different focus. Remembering Tonia with all of my love, trusting God with all of my heart and focusing on living out the mission of telling as many people as possible about the God that saves, redeems and loves me from the inside out!

Be blessed my friends.  Sending huge hugs to you!



  1. Thanks for posting this, friend. Wish we were close enough for a hug. Thinking of you and thanking God for you and your family… and for our great Hope.

    Love you much 💗

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