Posted by: kathyhugs | November 3, 2010

New Plans? God’s plans?

Philippians 3, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.

It is a new season, I think. It has been very hard to look too far into the future because the present has been so overwhelming. But now changes are happening and it is a time of reflection and prayer. Rick is firmly entrenched in his new job and he loves it. We just spent the weekend in Richmond, VA so I can meet some of the people he is working with. It was a delightful trip. Great conversations about life and faith. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone better over time.

This week I am off being a bum, ok I am off catching up on bills, laundry, appointments and everything else that has gotten pushed to the back burner! On Monday I start my new job at the Beaver and Moon UPCI Cancer Center as a PET/CT nurse. It will be very different and I am walking forward trusting that God has a plan. My new director is wonderful. We have been in regular email contact since my interview. I am getting excited about the possibilities.

Sean is working on getting everything ready to move to Chicago in January. He still needs a place to live and he is working on the finances. Prayerfully we are letting him stretch his wings and fly! So in January we will be empty nesters! We are thinking about offering a bedroom to a local college student to live in. We have the room, we can help someone out and the house won’t feel so empty when RIck is gone. God will lead us.

We have been trying to decide what our goals are over the next 2, 5 and 10 years. FUZZY! We have started to make some plans as far as trips. We are planning on a trip to Israel in March 2012 for our belated 25 wedding anniversary. We are planning on renewing our vows next May for our 25th Anniversary.

We were asked by a friend who is helping us with retirement planning when we plan on retiring and what we want to do. What? When? Retire? I am too young to even think about that. Then….. I got an invitation in the mail to join the AARP. What this has to be a mistake! But then I realized that I am eligible because I am turning 50! No Way! I threw it in the garbage. I am going to be Feisty, Fifty and Fully Fun!  I have always loved the ladies in the Red Hat Society. They are about fun. I want to wear purple on my birthday and just be the outrageous person God created!

So back to plans. HMMMMMM!??? Hug a million more people. Pray with a 1000 new friends. Touch the hearts of a ton more women. Share a moment with someone whose heart is hurting. Laugh with a roomful of sisters in Christ. Cry with a friend who is struggling. Live, laugh and love the people God puts in my path. The greatest thing about this plan….I can do it right now and not wait to retire!

Do I have the answers to: when I want to retire and what I want to do?  NO! But that’s okay. For now life is about friends, old and new, a good cup of coffee, a good book, special photos and prayers to a God who know the plans He has for me. For now…. it is enough.

May you enjoy the sun, the rain, the smiles and the tears as you live life. Wear purple and have fun! HUGS

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Posted by: kathyhugs | September 17, 2010

Rubber Bands

The last month and a half have been filled with so many emotions. I feel as if we have been on a roller coaster. Just when I start to feel as if I recognize my life, God shakes it up.  Even though it might not be perfect, it is at least recognizable. It is my life. But God decides that we need to be stretched, just like a rubber band. A rubber band laying in a drawer has a recognizable shape but until it is stretched out to use, it isn’t serving the purpose it was designed for! Well Rick, Sean and I are being stretched like rubber bands!

In summary:

we have been out to Chicago on a scouting trip for apartments for Sean for January when he starts Seminary.

He has started his last semester at Geneva.

Rick started interviewing for a new job. On top of that he wasn’t even looking for a new job! He went through an interview liked what he saw and went to his current company to let them know he had a job offer and that didn’t want to let him go so they started courting him. Then the new company refused to take no for an answer and they starting talking to him even more!! After a month and a half of prayers, asking for wise counsel and looking at the priorities in our lives; Rick has accepted a new position. For now we do not have to move so we have a chance to figure out how to deal with all of the changes. The amazing thing about this process has been to watch God’s hand change our perspective and my heart. 6 months ago I would not have considered potentially moving away from Pittsburgh. My job is here, our church is here and this is where Tonia is buried. No way I wanted to move. But….God stretches us in order to have us serve the purposes He has chosen for us. The idea of moving away from church is uncomfortable but time and time again as we have traveled God has given us glimpses of the rest of our extended family of believers. We have found churches where we have been warmly welcomed and that we have enjoyed. I need to remember that God’s children live all over the world and that God wants us to reach out to every person. So we are not moving right now but I am open to that idea. Stretching my mind to new possibilities.

Next the thought of not being near to Tonia’s grave was making me sad and guilty and even depressed. Sad because the cemetery has been an anchor to hold on to her, in a weird way, because I know that she is in Heaven. Her body is here but her spirit is soaring. Guilty because I wouldn’t be here to take care of new plants and flowers. Depressed because she isn’t here to share this new journey. Lots of emotions. Very slowly and quietly God has been telling me to let go of a place, a marker for Tonia’s life and death, and instead to remember his promise that we will be together again. Better, perfected, no more hurt, no more tears. Home together in Heaven. Deep breath. Okay, my heart is being stretched.

Next my job…. I love working with the kids. Seeing a child more comfortable during an uncomfortable day and getting a hug at the end of the visit makes my entire being smile! Over the last 5 months I have been very unhappy and uncomfortable with a situation at work. A situation that I tried to fix, but unfortunately it isn’t changing. I have been emotionally exhausted and very upset and angry at my inability to change what is going on. I have had many meetings trying to change the circumstances but nothing has worked. When Rick accepted his new job, it gave me a change to evaluate my life and priorities and what God wants from me. I attempted to have one more meeting in order to fix the problem at work but it became very evident that it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. So I resigned!! I have given them a long notice so they can replace me and I wanted time to find something else. I applied to two jobs last weekend and I have two interviews! I have an interview at Magee Women’s Hospital cancer center this morning and I have an interview on Monday at a UPMC Cancer Center in Moon/Beaver. Wow. God is stretching my focus and giving me a new direction to head.

Rubber bands…. God stretches us in order to have us become everything he has in mind for our life.

More later I have to get ready for the interview!

Update: October 12, 2010

I have a new job!. I finish at Children’s on October 28 and start my new position as a PET/CT nurse at the UPMC Cancer Centers in Moon and Beaver. I am very excited. This isn’t a position that I ever considered before but God opened up a door and I walked through. I will be with patients as they are getting their PET/ CT scans as part of their diagnostic process to discover if they have cancer. My prayer is that I can’t help them to navigate through this storm in their life as best I can. I will be with them and my job is to keep them calm as I help them to get ready to have this test and then to be with them during and after the procedure.

I new opportunity to meet and pray for so many people. One door closed and another door opened. God at work. Amen!

Posted by: kathyhugs | August 28, 2010

Race to Break the Cycle

We did it! This morning I walked in my very first 5K race. We walked in the Women’s Center of Beaver County’s Race to Break the Cycle. We raced enough money to sponsor the race so the shirts had “n Memory of Tonia Brundage” on the back. My goal was 50 minutes. We took off at a good clip and Rick set a nice pace. I was tired but we ran the last 100 yards to cross the finish line in under 43 minutes!! It was great. We raised some money to help some women and their children to get the assistance they need and we celebrated the fact that God gave us the gift of Tonia. Tomorrow would have been her 29th birthday! It was our way of passing on God’s blessings in our life.

Here are some pictures before and after!

 

Posted by: kathyhugs | July 22, 2010

5K walk

On August 28th, Rick and I will be walking in the Women’s Center of Beaver County annual fundraiser. This will be my first 5K. We will be walking in memory of Tonia and it is an appropriate time because the next day would have been her 29th birthday.  We are looking for sponsors for the walk. If you would like to help us raise funds for the center, you can mail a check made out to the Women’s Center of Beaver County and mail them to us so that we can mail them all in together.

Rick is excited because I am joining him working out and we are both getting in shape. We both wanted to do something to help others and this was the first fundraiser that we felt that we can support.  The women’s center needs money and donations.

I could use your prayers as I try to get in shape and as we raise funds to support a great need.

I will keep you informed as to the progress!  Love and hugs!

Posted by: kathyhugs | July 5, 2010

July 1, 2010, Three years, and a God experience

On July 1st I was in Columbus, Ohio with 5000 teenagers. We were attending the Evangelical Free Church student conference: Challenge 2010. I love the teens I was with and I thought I was prepared to deal with July 1st but…

I woke up that morning overwhelmed, sad and cranky. Rick was the only one who knew what was going on.  But even in the midst of the intense prayer times, the worship music and the fun I was having my focus was on how much I miss my girl. I needed some time alone so after a quick breakfast I volunteered to go to the morning update for the leaders. I was able to sneak away and sit in the back of the room and just pray and talk to God. Pastor Ryan  came in just before the update started. At the end of the information before we got up to leave, I shared how I was feeling with Ryan. I was in tears at that point, just feeling overwhelmed by the hurt. Ryan prayed for me and gave me a big hug. It felt good to be able to share the burden. I was able to get my head together and I headed into prayer time before the morning rally. Every song was touching my heart. Every hug that day just meant so much more. I was very vulnerable.

We went to lunch then we headed to a local park for some free time. The intense prayer, classes and sharing experiences needed to be processed so we got away for a while. Some of the boys were playing ultimate frisbee, some of the girls went shopping, two of the leaders were having a quiet discussion and a small group of us were listening and singing along with some quiet guitar music. No expectations, just sitting back relaxing.

I noticed a leader from another group walking with a homeless man. Something drew my eyes to them and I commented to Hayley about the pair. She shared with me that the homeless man had lost his son and that he had been shot and killed. I asked her how she knew that and she said that Anna had told her. At that moment Anna came up and confirmed the story. She said that he was very angry with God because of his son’s death. Before I knew it I was on my feet and walking quickly to find him. Anna was walking with me and I told her that I felt compelled to find him. We walked about 50 feet around a corner on the path when we spotted them. I asked Anna to keep praying and I approached the two men.

I walked directly up to the men, introduced myself, put my hand on the chest of the homeless man and said, “I need to talk to you. I understand that your son was shot and killed. My daughter was shot and killed also. I wanted to let you know that I understand your pain.” Well he was reeling from my comment and asked me my name again. Introductions were quickly made. The other man from Challenge was Jim. My new friend’s name was Gene.

 

Gene

 

Gene is a man who is homeless and hungry, alone and tired. Hurting. Gene informed me that his son, Ian, was 24 when he was shot and killed on the streets of Columbus. He told me that he served two tours in Vietnam and that the only thing that took away his pain was when he was drunk. Gene is hungry for a beer to quench the hurt of the flesh and of the heart. Hungry for healing. Gene is proud of the fact that he is strong and that he has survived so far. We shared our hearts. We shared tears. We shared stories of the nightmares that woke us up in the middle of the night. He is full of hatred for the man who killed his son. Hatred for the God who took his son away. We prayed together for the hurt to go away.

I was overwhelmed and scared at this encounter. Overwhelmed by the raw human emotions that were staring at me from his eyes. Scared that God wanted me to talk to him. Not sure what to do except share our story. I shared our forgiveness of our son-in-law and how we gave him a bible. Gene told me I was crazy and I started laughing. Soon we were all laughing as we started walking. Jim and I starting walking him to White Castle to get food. Along the way he broke down several times, crying about his son and his hurting soul. He asked us to buy him a beer and I kept saying no. He would ask Jim and I said no again. Gene commented that I was using tough love and him and asked me why I answered for Jim. I told him that I was stubborn and that love did hard things sometimes. During one of the moments when he was crying he asked me to pray for his son. Not knowing anything about his son I prayed for his soul and then I prayed for Gene’s heart to be healed by the only Healer that mattered. I prayed for God to rock Gene’s world and that Gene would accept God’s gift of salvation. Gene prayed the Lord’s Prayer out loud. I felt so inadequate but God was so evident.

Out of the blue Pastor Ryan, Sean and Wade appeared on the same street we were on. I introduced them and Gene wanted to know who they were. I said they were friends who loved me and lifted me up in prayer. He said something to me about where we all came from. I told him Pittsburgh but he said no where did you come from today, how did you find me. I told him that it was a God appointment. We were all in the park at the same time and that God arranged for us to meet today, the third anniversary of my daughter’s death. Ryan confirmed that she died three years ago today and Gene looked frightened and yet impressed. He kept asking me over and over how I found him. I just said that God put us together. We got to White Castle and Jim ordered a bag of hamburgers. Gene refused to eat unless I ate with him. He said that no man would eat in front of a woman who wasn’t eating too! So I grabbed a burger, tore it in half and gave it to Ryan. We all broke bread together. Gene asked for a beer again but again we all said no. We talked, we cried , we prayed.  I stuffed the left over hamburgers in his backpack and we left White Castle. We all started heading back to the park. Our last thing was me crying because he wouldn’t pray to accept Christ. Gene leaned over and said don’t cry girlie, I know God and I will think about what you said. I am not worth crying over. I gave him a huge hug and said that he was my friend and that I loved him and that he will always be worth crying over. We all left to head back to the convention center and he headed back to the park.

I am still blown away. God used our daughter’s death to reach out to another hurting soul. I feel as if her death has been redeemed in my heart. I am at peace with the fact that she is in Heaven, no longer struggling but celebrating.  God is healing my heart. Another piece of the puzzle of our journey has fallen into place. On the day that started out in sadness and mourning, turned into a day of sacrifice and sharing of God’s love and blessing. I am sad that Gene did not accept the gift of salvation but I am also hope-filled that the seeds that were planted fell on open fertile ground. I will continue to pray for this brother of the heart. If you live in the Columbus area stop by Goodall Park and say a prayer for a fallen soldier, a broken man, a hurting father, my friend, Gene!  God Bless your journey!

Posted by: kathyhugs | May 29, 2010

A God Seeking Heart?

It was one of THOSE weeks. You know the kind, everything is topsy-turvy. The schedule you had is tossed to the wind. The plans You made never happen. That was the kind of week I had. At times I wake up and I don’t recognize my life. It is so completely different from what I expected. Goals, dreams and plans that Rick and I made when we first got married came from a different life. We moved to a different planet overnight and someone forgot to tell us to pack our suitcase! That is what life feels like right now. I am wondering if it will ever feel “normal” again. If one day I will wake up and say, “Wow! This feels familiar or I recognize this road it leads to …..!” Maybe it will never happen. Lives change. Goals change. God changes us. I do know where I am headed. I am headed for a home with God; for eternity! This life is just a small blip on the eternal road I am on. But this life still feels foreign. What am I doing here? Is there a purpose here on Earth for me? God tells me there is, “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you….” God has plans for me. Has this week been a part of His plan? The crazy work schedule. Missing Rick as he travels. Watching Sean struggle to find a job. Hearing about a friend who is hospitalized just when her recuperation looked so good. Watching my coworkers burning the candle to get a huge task accomplished. Are these all part of God’s plan? If they are then why do they feel so weird? Where is God in all of this? Where is my heart focused?

I forgot to thank God for the ability to adapt and work the crazy hours. I forgot to thank God for Sean’s perseverance looking for a job. I forgot to thank God for getting my friend to the hospital for something minor so they could discover the infections that are in her body and treat them before they got even worse. I forgot! God still showed up. Rick came home. Sean found a job. The task at work was finished. My friend is getting treated. I survived the week! The world kept on turning; God is in control.

My world has changed. It is different. My focus and attitude still are catching up. When I first asked God to come into my life as my Savior and friend in 1997, I felt disoriented for a while. My heart had changed but my focus needed time to catch up. I had to learn to crawl then walk again with God in my life. I was such a baby in my faith. We didn’t even know how to find a church, so every week we went to a new one until our heart told us to stay awhile and learn. We found a church and we were fed. We bought a Bible and started to read. We became very uncomfortable with that church and the teachings so we left. We were learning to crawl. The Holy Spirit and God’s Word was teaching us. We ran into some baby gates that stopped us from falling down the stairs and getting hurt. But they felt like barriers that frustrated me. I wanted to knock the gates down. I wanted to be stubborn and choose where I was going. But as my focus started to shift I was able to see over the gate and realize that I would have fallen and been hurt. At times I did fall. My human pride and sinfulness caused me to knock that baby gate aside and I made some dumb choices. God allowed me to fall down the steps but He was waiting to pick me up, comfort me and guide me back up on the right path.

That is where I am today. I know that God is in control. I know that He has a plan for this life, for me. I read His Word and I am learning to listen. My focus and attitude still need to catch up to my heart. God reveals the path I am on, one step at a time. For this season I can’t see what lies ahead. It feels wrong to try to plan for next year or five years from now when I can’t see next month! I catch a glimpse every now and then but it is a fleeting look.

One of my stumbling blocks has been the plans I had for being a grandmother already. I assumed and expected that Tonia would have a child or even children by now.  Tonia would be 28 now, 29 in August. My expectation was that I would be able to brag about my grandkids, even though I don’t feel old enough to have grown children let alone grandkids! I watch as friends become grandmothers. That world looks familiar. That world fits into my plans. But that is not my world. God knows this. He shares in my pain and confusion because He knows my heart. I read somewhere this week that God had other plans for this season, that I was to “enjoy the love of the children of others”. He reminded me that just as I was adopted into His family, my definition of family needed to change and to grow. My focus had to become His. So I borrow teenagers to go to the movies. I borrow babies to rock to sleep. I anticipate Sean’s possible children. I love the kids who I take care of at the hospital. My focus shifts and for that moment it feels familiar, it feels good. But it only lasts for those moments. Then my heart hurts for the world I once thought I had. For the plans that I made. But that glimpse is enough to confirm that God is at work. He knows the season I am in right now. He wants me to grow. He wants to refine me. I am crawling quite well but now I need to learn to walk. God’s hand is helping me to stand up. He is supporting me and catching me when I fall. He helps me to get back up. I can look over the baby gate of this season and the stairs I see now lead up, up, up and around a corner. When I am ready God will remove the gate and I can take the first of many steps up into the next adventure He has in store! Until then I need to choose to focus on God with all of my heart, my mind and my strength.

Posted by: kathyhugs | May 14, 2010

Expectations

Over the last several weeks I have had several conversations with friends, with my husband and with God about expectations. Expectation defined:

  • belief about (or mental picture of) the future
  • anticipation: anticipating with confidence of fulfillment
  • the feeling that something is about to happen
  • Eager anticipation

There are good expectations. The expectation that we act civilized with manners toward others. The expectation that we care for our family and friends.The expectation that there will be Christmas presents under the tree. The expectation that I will fall in love and stay married for the rest of my life.  These are all good expectations and usually they all will come true. They put a sparkle in my eye and a can’t wait to see what is around the corner thrill!

But then again expectations can work against us. The expectation that we can “fix” someone else. The expectation that people will respond in a different way than past experiences have evidenced. The expectation that others need to entertain us or treat us in a certain manner. Expectations of unrealistic goals or plans. A silly expectation is to marry a rich prince, become a princess and live in a castle. Unfortunately some people never mature past this expectation. They marry and become disappointed that their spouse doesn’t live up to their prince charming idea. He is an average guy who loves them but they need to work at the marriage and their communication of expectations. Some marriages don’t make it because of the unspoken expectations.

When I have expectations of others I can sometimes be very disappointed. It is only my expectations of God that I usually underestimate! Over the last 2 months I have been healing. I am truly learning how to love life without my daughter around. It hasn’t been easy but…God has been mending my heart. He has sealed the hole that is in my heart with his love. The scar is evidence that the loss is real and that it will never go away but it is healing. I had to let go of certain expectations. The expectation that my child would one day become a mother and therefore I become a grandmother. The expectation that I would die before she did. The expectation of family dinners with our son-in-law being a joyous part of our family. The expectation of vacations and reunions with extended family members. These expectations were “normal” to have. They were not unrealistic, they fit into the pattern of a normal family life. But then the unthinkable happened. Tonia died. She was murdered. The window of our life was shattered. Normal reactions were skewed. Emotions changed minute by minute. Stop I want to get off!

Then God became very evident. The waves were still crashing over us but He surrounded us with His protection that buffered us from the storm. He was in the boat with us and told us to “fear not for I am with you”.  Over time the storm ebbed and flowed. We landed on our rock. It was solid and strong. During every storm that was thrown God just reminded us to hold on to Him. Expectations were changed, some were released to the what might have been, others were shifted. The window of our life was slowly being refined. It will never be whole until we get to Heaven but the crack in it has been filled in so that it is just a reminder.

But I still struggle with my expectations! Daily! My expectations of other people in my life has gotten me into trouble. I do want to “fix” our relationships. But unfortunately I can’t fix anyone other than myself and I need God’s help to work on me. Relationships with other people is my greatest challenge. I can’t change them. I can only change my expectations of them. Letting go of the “normal” view of family. Letting go of the image that I have of extended family vacations and dinners and reunions. Allowing God time to work in my life and in the lives of my extended family. This isn’t easy in fact I have to stop and pray that my responses are what God wants from me and they are not reactions to past hurts and words. I have a very long way to go!

But God has been so good. He has given me new expectations! He has given me a church family who we share Memorial Day picnics with. Friends who have become sisters. Couples who mentor us like parents. Teenagers who I take out to dinner, to a movie and even dress shopping for a dance! Expectations that I can love others and it will be okay. Expectations that when I learn to care for one of my patients and then they die, it will be okay. God allows me to love them, to grieve for them and my heart is never the same but it is okay. They have touched my life for this season and that love never dies. They are waiting in Heaven for the ultimate family reunion.

I also have expectations of Sean. I have learned to hold onto them a little less tightly. I have dreams of one day watching him fall in love and get married and have children. But only God knows the future and I have to live today without holding onto the mist of tomorrow. Today is good. God is great! It is enough.

Have a blessed today.

Posted by: kathyhugs | May 12, 2010

Mother’s Day thoughts

Mother’s Day 2010 my wonderful husband and son took me out to dinner. We went to Outback where I indulged in a steak and crab legs. Delicious! It was a tender day. Yes I cried. My heart hurts missing Tonia. I think I will always have the moments in my life when I remember and wonder what if.  But I also cried at the blessings I have been given. Family and friends who love me and allow me to just be me. Young people in my life who gave me an extra hug on Mother’s Day. Don’t tell me that young people today are selfish, I will disagree. They can see outside themselves, they can reach out to others and lift them up. I have been blessed.

I am blessed to have my son at home for right now. Sean started out at Penn State majoring in aeronautical engineering and in the Navy ROTC program. He had finished 2 years at Penn State when July 1, 2007 happened. His sister died. He left on his first submarine cruise and then back to Penn State for his junior year. Everything caught up with him and he made the decision in December to come home. He needed time to be around us. He needed time to heal. God started working on his heart. After working at Camp Ligionier for the summer of 2008, Sean decided to transfer to Geneva College. He is majoring in Biblical Studies and he will be finished with his degree in December. Last week he got some wonderful news. He has been accepted at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He will start his Master’s of Divinity program in January! I am so proud of him. He has survived! He is thriving. So for this season he is home with us which is good for me. It gives me a time to enjoy him as an adult. It gives me a chance to enjoy Mother’s Day with one of my children here with me. I am so thankful.

Posted by: kathyhugs | April 30, 2010

Prayer Support Group info meeting reminder!

This group will hold an informational meeting on May 1, 2010 at 10:00.

Chippewa E. Free Church, 239 Braun Road, Beaver Falls, PA 15010

Healing Under God’s Shelter

Posted by: kathyhugs | April 24, 2010

Lessons: And a child shall lead them

Over the last several months I have had the privilege to meet several young people who have influenced my life in ways that are still being discovered. I wanted to share with you a story about one of them. I have changed the name and the identifying details because he is a patient of mine but this story is true.

This young man has cancer. He has been fighting it for a very long time. God has given him time. God has given his family the gift of time. He is on experimental chemotherapy now. About a week ago he left his hospital appointment and had a talk with his parents. From his mom’s journal: “The first thing he said was that we are not giving God enough credit for what He has done for us. Secondly, he said that he was going to continue to have God use him to tell others about God. He has purchased Bibles for people that he wants to give encouragement to and personally wrote them letters and mailed them. His encouragement is that they take time each day to read the Bible because he does and it has really made a difference in his life. He hopes that God’s word will for all of you!”

This week I had the honor to see the process first hand. He gave a bible and his letter to his doctor and to one of the nursing research coordinators. The nursing coordinator came down to talk to me right after they left. She was so touched and blown away by his gift to her. She said that she was overwhelmed. She shared the doctors conversation with him about religion and faith. She was in tears by his gift. She felt loved.

This young man is making a huge difference in His sphere of influence. He is holding onto the lessons that he has learned. He is wearing his faith as a banner for all to see. He is trusting God and taking each day as a gift. When I see him we dance, we hug, we love.

This family is always so kind and patient. We were teasing each other about food and restaurants. They went to have pancakes at a place nearby but they couldn’t remember the name of the restaurant. His father took the time to grab a menu and then bring it to me so I could go check out the restaurant. I will go and have pancakes and think of this young man.

My prayer is that God gives him even more time, selfishly so I can hug him and love on him some more but even more importantly so that others have the opportunity to see the light of God shining through him. I love him. We dance. We hug. I learn how beautiful God is especially in the midst of pain and struggles.

My life has been forever blessed, forever touched. Thank you God for allowing me to see you through this young man. God is so good!

Update April 26: I just found out that this young man will be on hospice care starting tomorrow. Please pray for this family. I have been blessed to have been able to get to know him.

Update: Friday, April 30 at 7:49pm, Mason went home to be with Our Father in Heaven. My life has been forever touched by this young man and his family.

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